President and First Lady Obama Celebrate the End of Obesity

Soda Sales Down, Childhood Obesity Epidemic Over

Following news that soda sales are down to levels not seen since the 1980s, First Lady Michelle Obama hosted a massive celebration at the White House last night, marking the end of the childhood obesity epidemic. With the President at her side, the First Lady told an assembled crowd of trim and fit youngsters:

We’ve delivered on our promise to solve the challenge of childhood obesity in less than a generation. Everybody knows that the explosive growth of two-liter sodas and the Big Gulp in the 1980s sparked this epidemic and now we’ve turned back the clock. So it’s all over but the shouting. The epidemiologists and bean counters can argue all they want about the fine points, but our work is done.

The First Lady was prescient about the arguing. Harvard’s Steven Gortmaker objected immediately, saying:

I hate to be a party pooper, but we’ll need a huge new observational study to know what’s really happening here. This is part of a much bigger picture of a very complex, dynamic system.

Nutrition expert Marion Nestle raised a different concern, saying:

I’m glad soda sales are down, but they’re still selling way too many of those annoyingly cute little aluminum bottles. That can’t be good for us and our kids.

We can’t help but think this is great news for the first day of April. Regardless of all that petty squabbling, we’re thrilled that people really are shunning sugary drinks.

Click here and here to read more about the decline in soda sales.

President Obama and the First Lady Celebrate the End of Obesity, official White House photograph by Pete Souza / flickr

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April 1, 2016

6 Responses to “Soda Sales Down, Childhood Obesity Epidemic Over”

  1. April 01, 2016 at 8:03 am, Allen Browne said:

    April Fools!!!!!!!!!!!

    • April 01, 2016 at 6:25 pm, Ted said:

      Indeed, Allen!

  2. April 01, 2016 at 10:02 am, Mary-Jo Overwater said:

    Was the First Lady trying to be funny as an April Fools joke? It’s the only rational explanation I can think of to declare the childhood obesity epidemic over.

    • April 01, 2016 at 6:26 pm, Ted said:

      You’ll have to blame me for the joke, Mary-Jo. Only the soda consumption data was real.

  3. April 01, 2016 at 10:27 am, Jonathan Dugas said:

    Well played. . .well played!

    • April 01, 2016 at 6:24 pm, Ted said:

      Thanks, Jonathan!