A Plea from Santa: Stop with Your Health “Concerns”

OK, I admit it. This has been a rough year for me, so the filter is off. I’ve had enough with the so-called health concerns for Santa that keep coming at me from anonymous trolls. Some of you don’t seem to approve of my lifestyle, my body composition, or my enjoyment of milk and cookies. It’s not lost on me. So put a lid on it.

In truth, I’m doing just fine. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ve been around since the fourth century, so your concerns about my health are not only fake, but they’re also wasted.

Leave Those Precious Children Alone, Too

While I’m at it, I’ve heard all the hand-wringing about childhood obesity that I can stand. I’m not trying to pretend that I’m any kind of authority on child health, but I know a thing or two about good and bad behavior.

Picking on children because of their size lands you on my naughty list. That goes for adults who think they can single out children at school, just as much as it does for playground bullies.

If you feel the need to campaign for child health, do something to address the factors that put a child at risk. Food insecurity, poverty, violence, and homelessness come to mind. Racism and child abuse need some attention, too.

Health and Dignity

For many centuries, I’ve been a big fellow and that’s not going to change. So I remind you that this is a season of goodwill and love. Dressing up your fat phobia as concern for the health of Santa is simply not nice. Not only does it do nothing for my health, it is also disrespectful. It’s even worse when you direct it at your brothers, sisters, or their children.

Please, just remember. If someone wants health advice, they will ask for it. If they don’t ask for it, it’s not advice. It’s just rude.

So knock it off and let’s all enjoy this holiday.

 
Today’s guest post by our most highly esteemed benefactor, Santa Claus, comes directly from the North Pole exclusively for ConscienHealth readers with our very best wishes for a holiday filled with peace and joy.